How I Coach An Amateur Writer

[Note: I offer various services at a site called fiver.com because I like to–certainly not for big bucks. Last weekend a mother/housewife asked me to critique her blog. Here’s what happened next, starting with my critique. Maybe my advice will help a few other writers, too]

Dear ___,

To be perfectly honest, I agree with your family and friends. Before the end of the first paragraph I recognized a born writer, with a genuine gift for crafting snappy, friendly, giddyup observations. I also like your imaginative POV: talking to intangibles, or sitting in your urine. This is good stuff, young lady. Do yourself a favor and keep writing. Do the rest of us a favor and do more of it.

To write really well means writing a lot, and making each reader feel close to you. The second one you’ve got covered. Here are a couple of signs that you don’t write as much as you should:

1) Long paragraphs and sentences. Find the old book on readability by Dr. Rudolph Flesch. His advice about writing short words and short paragraphs has never been as valuable as in the age of blogs. If you write more you’ll gravitate away from long-longs, but his book is a good shortcut.

2) Use even more visuals. You have a great eye, but it turns inward a little too often. Add atmospherics. The shades in a tablecloth in sunlight, the texture of the edge of a building, the tilt of a head, stuff like that. Trust your instincts about what’s worth noting in the visual world and write it down, before you can talk yourself out of it. (And don’t forget to read everything out loud to the great editors on your head)

Apply this test to everything you write: * Is this rich with relevance? * Proof? * Value? You’re weakest in the last, being a little afraid to let go. Knock our socks off with more pithy insights and little surprises. You’re capable of changing the way people look at everyday things and events, and that’s what made Erma Bombeck a very wealthy lady. And you already have enough for a book.

Finally but most importantly, congratulations on being such a wonderful Mom. I was trained as a parenting coach, and my three amazing grown daughters are the finest people I know. I can tell a lovely job when I see it …….

**************
Dear Carey,

It’s taken me a day to get back to you, partly because I’ve been overwhelmed by your words and partly because I am trying to figure out how to convey my feelings without being too wordy!

I can tell you I cried when I read your message. I guess I just didn’t expect such a positive response and such a huge compliment. I am realizing how insecure I am about my writing. Or maybe it is just so personal to me and I feel really vulnerable. It was quite scary to even [ask you for advice] in the first place and I expected to hear something like, “That’s a nice little blog. You should just keep writing for your friends and family.”

I so appreciate your critique and I found it very helpful. I would love to have a writing coach, or I guess that’s called an editor? Wouldn’t that be nice! But for now I will just try to do more writing.

It’s actually pretty funny that you said I needed to write more, because that is all I ever hear from my ‘followers’ who tell me they love my writing, but it’s too infrequent. Maybe they aren’t just being nice. Maybe I really can do something with this writing thing.

My biggest hang-ups are a lack of confidence and not knowing where I fit in. Those are the things I will try to work on and figure out. Your kind and helpful words have allowed me to dream a little bigger and I really can’t thank you enough.

Doh! There I go getting all wordy again and going on too long. Sorry about that!

Just once more…thank you, thank you, thank you! (Okay, maybe thrice more).
******
Dear _____,

Thank you for asking me to look at your blog; it was a rare opportunity to encourage someone with real talent. Caring deeply is one quality that makes me a good writer, but it also makes me somewhat suspicious in today’s America–after all, I’m a man in his 60s (some people also turn afraid and suspicious when I try to say hello to toddlers, my favorite group in the world).

So it’s a treat to show you I care about your talent.

And encourage you to write more: Norman Mailer called writing a physical activity, because it involves keeping your butt in a chair, working at it until you get good at it. To do that, allow yourself the luxury of tinkering with ideas and words, like a grease monkey sneaks into a car engine every chance he gets. Confidence and recognition are side issues. As good as you are, you only shortchange yourself (and a public hungry for good writing, including your family and friends) when you procrastinate, pushing this creative act to the bottom of your to-do list.

I lie in bed planning the opening line of most pieces, then build on the pleasure it gives me once I get up and begin working on it. While the piece is taking shape I feel like I’m turning a large jewel over in my hands to admire facets of the evolving idea that I hadn’t consciously considered yet. One early goal is always to introduce something unexpected or “impertinent” as quickly as possible, which is what you do with those quirky POV statements. Considering the unexpected is about who you are, and that makes it valuable. It also makes your piece fresh and memorable. Free associate around the main topic until you surprise yourself with an association that makes you smile. Take it as far as you can before it starts to bore you.

I don’t know if you’re familiar with Peter Elbow, but books like “Writing Without Teachers” may help you get around some of the ways you undermine your own productivity. Hope you can check him out, at least on line.

Now who’s going on and on? I obviously enjoy coaching and playing cheerleader (my girls tell me it’s always been important to them). The internet gives you a stage to explore and share your natural gifts, more than it offers retailers, managers etc. Like the song says, “I hope you dance.”

And thanks for playing this tune that I could dance to, for a little while, with you.

How To Create A Tagline

I recently suggested an original tagline for a man who’s working with a home appraiser in Massachusetts. But he said he preferred “We value your most important asset” more than what I’d sent him.

Why would this tagline not be effective? Let me count the ways.

Hi Peter,

Here’s the thinking behind what I sent you. Hope you’ll find it of value. This approach has been well received by clients and students, so it might be worth the time it takes you to read it.

(As a reminder, the tagline I sent you is unusual, its first word is “your,” and it suggests a process)

1. These days being different and memorable is 90% of the battle. The #1 rule is “stand out or fade out.”

Everyone’s being bombarded with nonstop messages all day long. Unless a tagline or other message stands out, the reader will forget what you’ve said (and by extension you) almost before they finish reading it or hearing it.

Any appraiser can say they’ll value your asset–and like to share that opinion in their marketing. Many competitors probably say something similar. But does your client want to be a face in the crowd? A tagline is the first volley in a conversation, remember.

2. The emotional decision to do business with a vendor or service provider will happen because a) they’re cheapest or b) not because of what they do, but why they do it well. It’s easy to find an appraiser, but not one with whom we feel an immediate connection.

So the key question is no longer “would this guy do a good job?” as much as “would this be someone I’d like to work with?”

The extra value that every consumer desperately seeks from any service provider or vendor is a feeling that we’re special because we’ve hired them or bought their product (or because they’re the cheapest). Extra value sells.

A business message must go beyond operational skill and personal opinion, to Authentic Engagement. Look at the big internet business success stories; they’re personally engaging and interesting. Technical skill or background is secondary. Unfortunately, your phrase is in no way personally engaging.

3. The huge success of Dummies books (way back when people actually bought books) shows that a) consumers want to feel in control of a process, more than just the good or service and b) they like experts who can be depended on to lay out an effective process in a way that’s clear, concise and compelling enough for them to take immediate ownership of.

Your client’s customers are smart enough to know that anything having to do with houses will be a long process, not a quick fix. So they want an appraiser who really understands the process, and who’ll be there in the future with valuable advice or other support as needed. That’s implied in what I sent you, but not in your alternate idea.

So ask yourself of anything you write or say: Is this relevant? Have I offered proof? Where’s the value?

Take care Peter, stay happy, and best of luck with your business.

Carey

Is That Yoda In Your Yard?

Yep, out there playing in the yard or on the verandah. Or maybe elsewhere in your extended family.

But it’s not some wizened old Jedi. This Yoda is still young, brimming with promise and a dream of leading wonderful men and women.

You can help him or her grow into the person they’re capable of becoming. Healthy, independent, resourceful and wise.

The world may dismiss him or her as another preteen kid; too much noise, drama and confusion. But with your help they can change the world.

Make sure this Yoda grows up healthy. Don’t let him or her slip into a pattern of bad habits and self-indulgence, obesity and a lifetime of poor health. Encourage them to take good care of themselves.

And prepare them for a world that needs leadership. Show them how to embrace and celebrate change, not hide from it. Every day a new tool or idea appears that a great leader might use to benefit millions of people. Help them become that leader.

Your job isn’t easy, but it’s simple: show the Yoda in your yard how special they are. Always demonstrate the discipline, inclusiveness and joyful focus that got you this far.

They’re counting on you.  So are we.

When Surfers Watch the Shore

Yesterday my favorite blogger, Seth Godin, shared a brilliant analogy about business success in the internet age.

He says today’s successful people are like “surfers.” Unafraid of a wave’s inherent instability, they “hunt for that blissful moment that combines three unstable elements in combination.”

It takes guts for a surfer to focus on something as unpredictable as the liquid curl of a wave. It takes even more guts for an entrepreneur to build their business on freedom, change and risk.

But entrepreneurs or businesses that can’t let go of industrial-age business and marketing models are like surfers who secretly long for the safety of the shore, or race car drivers who keep glancing at the race track wall.

They crash.

p.s. For a striking illustration, check out the Guinness commercial that British viewers called the best one ever.